i miss her so much

i miss her so much. so so so much. We talk occasionally, to wish each other Happy Birthday. And it’s not like I’m asking for more, because I’m fine like this. I just wish we talked a little more. I wish she called every once in a while and asked how I was doing. I know there’s no going back in the past, and there’s no such thing as doing better next time, because there is no next time. But you know, I miss her. It’s hard to live 10 000km away from someone who is your everything and you literally can’t live without them. But I deal with it, more or less, I try my best. 

It’s funny that we can’t even have 1 normal chat conversation. Apart from our birthday wishes, I’ve talked to you like twice on facebook since I left. And all it ended up being was “Hi. Hi. How are you? Fine you? Fine.” We’ve become total strangers and no matter how much I wish we could be “us” again, I know we’ll never be. I’d give everything, all of what I have right now, to go back and be your best friend for just one more day. Because all I have here, as good, fun, and awesome as it is, can’t even be compared to what I used to have. I might be idealizing the past, but I’m sure it was better. I miss you M. I hope you realize that.